THE DANMAN CAN

"Congratulations. You're one step closer to hitting bottom." David Fincher Feature Films Ranked

"Curiouser and curiouser." Walt Disney Animated Feature Films Ranked (1937–2011) The Danman Top 100 Films (2024 Edition)

👍 👍     Stuart Gordon Films Ranked

"I'm trying. I've only got four hands."

"To contemplate evil is to ask evil home."

"What do you want from me? I'm seven years old." Stuart Gordon Films Ranked

Turbo Kid   (2015) is an endlessly fun and funny mashup of  Mad Max  (1979) [ review ],  Escape From New York   (1981) [ review ],  Indiana Jones , BMX movies, and more featuring an impossibly adorable co-lead ( Laurence Leboeuf  as Apple), wildly creative gore gags, and a pulsing, head-bobbing synth score by  Le Matos . Rather than subvert genre tropes,  Turbo Kid  fully embraces them and never stops being a blast because of it—what it lacks in deep characters, finesse, and budget it makes up for in retro diversion and heart. If you had to live in a post-apocalyptic future, wouldn't you want to live in one this colorful and playful, with a soundtrack as great as this? (And remember: eyes, throat, genitals! )

There is something entirely satisfying to me that  Conquest   (1983) feels like it was birthed from the imagination of a 14-year-old boy. There is no denying that the movie   is an Italian knockoff of  Conan The Barbarian   (1982) [ review ] and  The Beastmaster   (1982) [ review ] that has more in common with  Hawk The Slayer  (1980), but there is also no mistaking that this is a  Lucio Fulci  film, and that's what makes it so enjoyable. It's unfortunate that the photography is not up to par with Fulci's other pictures (the soft focus was applied a bit too liberally and many scenes were shot too dark), but it's impossible not to enjoy this fantasy freakfest (and Cauldron Films did a superb job with their 4K UHD ). If you like your sword and sorcery flicks with a mostly-nude, golden-masked, snake-wielding, brain-eating, orgiastic necromancer witch who has an army of wolfmen and the power to control the sun and the moon, look no fur...

"Talk about frightening experiences, you ever tried slam dancing?" "I'm in a strange man, surrounded by strangers in a strange room." "Demons talk through you, not to you." With innovative (Oscar-winning) effects by Dennis Murren  (plus some wonderful makeup via Rob Bottin ) , hilarious physical gags and dialogue, a great (as always) Jerry Goldsmith score, and an excellent cast (including lots of Robert Picardo ; always welcome), Joe Dante 's Innerspace (1987) is a Hitchcock ian sci-fi comedy that holds up incredibly well almost 40 years on. Joe Dante Feature Films Ranked

"I could stand on my head nine months." "God, don't kill them. Let me do it." "I need some fuckin' shoes." Tense, gritty, beautifully scored , over the top, occasionally very funny, occasionally quite moving, and always incredibly entertaining. Runaway Train (1985) is a strange bird—a  Cannon  film, based on an  Akira Kurosawa  screenplay, made by a distinguished Russian director ( Andrei Konchalovsky ), full of larger than life performances (and ridiculous accents) by Jon Voight , Eric Roberts , and John P. Ryan , requiring a great deal of suspension of belief. Somehow it all works wonderfully.