THE DANMAN CAN

I've seen  Hardware  (1990) four times now and every time I have the same experience—one of frustration. Frustration at the fact that it's half of an awesome post-apocalyptic film with incredible visuals and design, well-done gore and effects, and some beautifully surreal moments, but that it's also half of an annoyingly inferior cyberpunk film with underdeveloped characters, cringy dialogue, and poorly staged action. Director  Richard Stanley 's affection for  Dario Argento  (in particular  Suspiria   (1977) ( review )),  Shin'ya Tsukamoto 's  Tetsuo: The Iron Man   (1989) and  Ridley Scott 's  Blade Runner  (1982) ( review ) is obvious, sometimes obnoxiously so. He takes elements of the  The  Terminator   (1984) and  Alien  (1979) ( review ), but doesn't have the craft to match those sci-fi horror classics.  Simon Boswell  delivers a moody and varied score that helps the atmosphere of the film a lot, particularly when other elements aren't quite wo

Eastern Promises (2007) is an affecting gangster film on a small scale, which serves as both familial drama and a compelling character study. It features one of the best examples that I can recall of a detached performance by Viggo Mortensen (in a career best), and a show-stoppingly brutal and beautifully choreographed fight sequence. EP  does an excellent job of incorporating heavy topics like teenage prostitution, rape, and the patriarchy without ever coming off as a message movie.  Howard Shore 's somber score heightens the tragedy of David Cronenberg 's best of his late period work. You can find my  David Cronenberg Feature Films Ranked  list  here . You can find my  Top 20 Directors  list  here .

James Bond Feature Films Ranked

The Kindred (1987) is an incoherent mess of a film (and I suspect Rod Steiger had about as much idea what was going on as we the audience do) but the final act is an absolute blast of slimy tentacled fun with a boatload of gooey practical effects.

It was my pleasure to once again be asked to guest on the  Moving The Needle Podcast  for an episode covering  David Lynch ’s  Lost Highway  (1997) on its 25th anniversary! In lieu of a review, please listen to  MTN   Episode 63  as Sean, Henno, and I discuss the film. Follow  MTN  to enjoy all of their episodes! David Lynch Feature Films Ranked Top 20 Directors

X (2022) doesn't attempt to hide its allegiance to  The Texas Chain Saw Massacre   (1974) ( review ) and that's probably a good thing, as it would have been compared to it one way or another. It does feel a bit too "homagey"—for lack of a better term—at times though. There's definitely some of 1981's  The Evil Dead   ( review ) in the mix as well. Additionally, in a number of scenes I was reminded of Hatchet (2006), particularly with the humor involved.  On that note,  X  clearly comes from the Adam Green / Eli Roth  school of horror, which isn't necessarily a slight but also not a glowing recommendation from me either. It definitely feels like a  Ti West  film in the sense that it never fully grabbed me (none of his work does) but this is his best work yet by a slight margin. I was actually kind of surprised by how straightforward and tropey X was. This review might seem on the negative side but I had a good time with this one. You can find my  Ti West

Paul Bartel 's Eating Raoul (1982) is a cute John Waters -esque comedy that serves as a time capsule of the type of subversive humor not seen in films anymore. Outdated (possibly offensive) or not, it's an enjoyable little low budget flick with heart that breezes past at under an hour and a half. 

There's no way that I could hate a movie starring three Pythons ( Graham Chapman , Eric Idle , and John Cleese ), four Young Frankenste i n (1974) alumni ( Peter Boyle , Marty Feldman , Madeline Kahn , and Kenneth Mars ), Cheech & Chong , James Mason and  an uncredited cameo by David Bowie *.  1983's  Yellowbeard  is an inherently silly film and I understand why many people would get offended by the number of rape jokes. Without apologizing for those, I'll just point out that it is a pirate comedy after all (playing on all the associated stereotypes), and overall I laughed a lot. There's plenty of other (not politically incorrect) humor to enjoy, plus swashbuckling, and loads of fun nonsense. I realize this isn't a terribly great film, but I found it pretty dang funny. The history behind the development and production of Yellowbeard is fascinating as well: - According to star Peter Cook , "It all started when Keith Moon , Sam Peckinpah , Graham Chapman

Wow. Some movies escape you and you wonder how you didn't see them when you were younger. I would have absolutely loooved   The Wraith   (1986) as a tween. I did still love the film on this first time watch but seeing it now as a middle aged man (yikes!) I can see the weak links that I never would have noticed as a youngster.  I'm surprised that The Wraith  doesn't have a better reputation; it's serious cult classic material and a whole lot of fun. This movie honestly has it all: a badass futuristic car, a killer cyberpunk bodysuit, kickass car chases, old-school visual f/x, a sweet hard rock soundtrack , a pulsing synthesized score, impressive explosions, Clint Howard being his zany self, girls in miniskirts on roller skates (a personal favorite), drug-addled goons, a somehow subdued Randy Quaid , bad but great dialogue, plenty of 80s cheese, and...well, Sherilyn Fenn (who I didn't even recognize at first). Also, Charlie Sheen being on screen for all of maybe 20

James Bond Feature Films Ranked

Deathtrap   (1982)   celebrates its 40th anniversary today so I decided to revisit the film for a second viewing. It did not disappoint.  Sidney Lumet 's film adaptation of Ira Levin 's 1978 play  (which holds the record for the longest-running comedy-thriller on Broadway) is a really fun murder mystery.  The movie develops, looks, and feels very much like a play and in the hands of Lumet the translation to the silver screen works incredibly well. The comedy is dark, Michael Caine and Christopher Reeve 's performances are tip-top ( Dyan Cannon is great too), and the single location windmill/house provides lots of interesting and dramatic cinematography. There's nothing terribly complex about Deathtrap but it's still smartly written, clever, and simply a damn good time. You can find my  Sidney Lumet Feature Films Ranked  list  here . You can find my  Top 20 Directors  list  here .

I've only seen two Douglas Sirk films at this point, the other being 1955's All That Heaven Allows . While I liked that film a lot when I watched it about six years ago (and would like to revisit it), by contrast I found  Written On The Wind (1956) to be close to perfection.  An ultra-heightened, highly symbolic melodrama (much in the vein of  Tennessee Williams ) centered on gender, sexuality, jealousy, and class—via hot button topics like impotence, alcoholism, and nymphomania— WOTW  exposes the rot beneath the excess wealth of a Texas oil family. Rock Hudson , Lauren Bacall , and Robert Stack all give wonderful, powerful performances, but  Dorothy Malone 's horny firecracker, Marylee Hadley, is the cream of the crop. My Criterion Top 10 [Vol. 7]

Miller's Crossing  (1990), only  Joel  and  Ethan  Coen's third film, is a masterpiece (and they've made more than a few). For me, it only gets better with each viewing. It boggles the mind that audiences were gifted another (completely different) gangster masterpiece with  Scorsese 's (much more well known and loved)  GoodFellas  ( review ) the same year. But I'm not comparing—the two films couldn't be more dissimilar. For one thing,  Miller's Crossing  takes place in 1929, during Prohibition. More importantly, the Coen's distill gangster and noir elements down to their essence, add their trademark humor, and airtight, cyclical dialogue, delivered pitch perfectly (and in some cases in cartoonishly caricatured manner) by a flawless cast (down to the smallest role). Then they shoot the whole thing (along with cinematographer and future director  Barry Sonnenfeld ) so effortlessly and stylishly that it's impossible not to be stupefied and endlessly ent

I hadn't watched Altered States  (1980) in almost a decade (when the Blu-ray was released). I’m fairly certain I had seen the film once or twice prior to that viewing, but either way I remembered it quite well.  William Hurt , who very recently passed away, had many memorable film roles in the past 41+ years. It's incredible to think that this was his feature film debut (fun fact: this was also Drew Barrymore 's film debut).  Jordan Cronenweth , who two years later gifted us the astounding cinematography of  Blade Runner   ( review ), here provides lots of beautifully lit compositions. The special effects and makeup—the latter by the legendary Dick Smith —can appear dated by today's standards, but there is a unique, tangible, and otherworldly approach to them that I can't help but love. Ken Russell 's trippy psychological sci-fi body horror definitely leaves an impression, particularly the barrage of sound and images presented in the out-of-body scenes. The unfo