THE DANMAN CAN

Despite the title, Death Has Blue Eyes  (1976) is not a giallo. Nor is it a very good film. And really, the titular eyes are more green than blue. It's an everything-and-the-kitchen-sink affair—part spy spoof, part softcore porn, part supernatural thriller. The editing is atrocious, it's incredibly goofy, random, and makes almost no sense. In spite of all this (and largely because of all this), it's very  entertaining. DHBE is perfect popcorn fodder for weirdos and lovers of weird cinema, bless its heart.

Dream Demon  (1988) is a solid A Nightmare On Elm Street / Hellraiser  mashup with some cool effects, a few great gore gags, and impressive dream-like visuals for a low budget movie. It's very much of its time in that has the look and feel of other late 80s British horror (including a generous helping of goofiness a la early Peter Jackson ). Lead Jemma Redgrave is decent but a stronger actor could have carried the picture better. Timothy Spall  is of course a highlight, particularly when he gets the opportunity to ham it up in gooey, gross-out makeup. All in all, a neat little film but a bit too derivative of other (better) ones, a bit of a wasted opportunity to go more gonzo, and not a film I would feel the need to necessarily revisit.

John Carpenter 's best film,  my favorite horror film , and one of  my top 5 films  ever (and I'm not fucking kidding). Nearly everything about  The Thing  (1982) is perfect—from Carpenter's expert direction to Bill Lancaster 's bleakly comic dialogue to  Dean Cundey 's memorable cinematography to   Ennio Morricone 's sparse, cold score to  Rob Bottin 's gooey, unforgettable special effects (that hold up incredibly well to this day) to Kurt Russell 's ridiculous hat. Plus it has one of the all-time great endings. John Carpenter Films Ranked Top 20 Directors "I dunno what the hell's in there, but it's weird and pissed off, whatever it is." "You gotta be fucking kidding..." "I  mean  it." "I know you gentlemen have been through a lot, but when you find the time, I'd rather not spend the rest of this winter TIED TO THIS FUCKING COUCH!" "Yeah, FUCK you too!"

Ah, Re-Animator  (1985), a classic that never gets old. It's one of my  Top 100 Films . I first saw it at the way-too-young age of 12 or 13 and I've loved it ever since. I've seen (and owned) it on VHS, DVD, and Blu-ray. I've seen it badly projected in a conference room at  Rock And Shock , and now well-projected at the Luna Theater . I look forward to the eventual 4K UHD release (hopefully by Arrow Video ). Stuart Gordon 's splatter masterpiece has it all—camp, comedy, and gore galore, plus an indelible performance by Jeffrey Combs , who gets most of the memorable lines (and delivers them with aplomb). In my opinion, it belongs on everyone's Top 10 Horror list (it's on mine ). You can find my Stuart Gordon Feature Films Ranked list here . Herbert West:  I gave him  life .  Dr. Carl Hill:  It's rather like peeling a large orange.  Dr. Carl Hill:   Mr .  West! I suggest  you get yourself a pen!  "Cat dead. Details later?" Screa...

My friend Eric  recently asked me to create a theme song for a sitcom in which he stars called Dream Machine . You can read about the series here and watch the title sequence that Eric created (which uses my theme) below. Be on the lookout for episodes soon! Thanks for hiring me to collaborate on this Eric—it was fun!