Silent Night, Deadly Night - Unrated Version (1984) ***1/2

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) is a holiday sleaze classic with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I think that's why I enjoy it so much and watch it almost ever year. Everyone and everything in it is so absurdly cynical, it's so incredibly, unrealistically exploitative, and the score is so manipulatively abrasive that I can't believe anyone could ever actually take offense to it. It's just bloody, low budget fun and never tries to be anything else. I'm glad movies like this exist. The '80s were a special time for trash cinema. And remember, even though Christmas Eve is the scariest damn night of the year, it's always Christmas on "The Warm Side Of The Door".

"Two ball in the corner pocket."