THE DANMAN CAN

Hot Dog… The Movie (1984) is 50% horny and 50% sporty—basically shitheads performing many acts of shitheadery… and skiing beautifully.

Wow. And I thought Naked  (1993) was a downer. Granted, there are some flashes of  Mike Leigh 's dark humor peppered throughout  All Or Nothing  (2002)—and there is a hint of hope in its climax—but it's a challenging film to get through, due to its frank portrayal of its characters and their conditions.  AON  plays very much as a sister piece to  Meantime   (1984) (my review here )—both films focus on low income British families, both films feature incredibly realistic performances by strong casts, and both films have somber scores by Andrew Dickson . AON can be a depressing experience but, like all the Leigh films I've seen, a very rewarding one—one that turns an eye on characters that in any other film would be relegated to the background. You can find my Mike Leigh Feature Films Ranked list here .

A perfect and perfectly charming film. One of my  Top 100 Films . I only first saw  Hal Ashby 's   Harold And Maude (1971) in 2012. I had been aware of the film for a long time before that but I never got around to seeing it until then. I fell instantly in love. I've seen H&M  four times now and it's lost none of its charm. It serves as a reminder not to take yourself too seriously and not to lose your joie de vivre. If you want to sing out, sing out . Hal Ashby Feature Films Ranked

Despite the fact that I love both licorice and pizza, the two together sound like a gross combination.  Licorice Pizza  (2021) the film, on the other hand, is comfort food. This is Paul Thomas Anderson right in his zone and it goes down so smooth. It's PTA at his most whimsical—in the hands of a lesser director that would translate to saccharine, but not so here.  This Pizza  is like Boogie Nights (1997) with less sprawl, and minus the danger, but that doesn't detract from it in any way. There is plenty of magic and trademark PTA humor present.  Alana Haim and Cooper Hoffman  are both a delight, imbuing their young and carefree characters with endearing qualities—making you wish you inhabited their world. You can find my  Paul Thomas Anderson Feature Films Ranked  list  here . You can find my  Top 20 Directors  list  here .

The Tragedy Of Macbeth (2021) is a bit of an odd choice for  Joel Coen 's first outing without brother Ethan . Coen presents his version of  Shakespeare 's  The Scottish Play  as maximum medieval menace by channeling—along with cinematographer  Bruno Delbonnel —filmmakers like Fritz Lang  and  Ingmar Bergman , and the latter's great cameramen  Sven Nykvist  and  Gunnar Fischer . While I won't lie and say that I don't want more original work from the brothers as a unit, this is both a faithful adaptation and an exciting cinematic experience. This Macbeth  is a chiaroscuro nightmare brought to life by stunning visuals, bold direction, brilliant music and sound design, and excellent performances.

1995's Day Of The Beast   is a fun little slice of Christmas cheer filled with Satanic rituals, heavy metal, and more sins than you can shake a crucifix at. You can find my Álex de la Iglesia Feature Films Ranked list here .

Back in 2015, when my friend Victoria gifted the Blu-ray of Little Shop Of Horrors (1986) to me, I had never seen it. Somehow, the film had escaped me for nearly 30 years (I still haven't seen the original 1960 film  or the stage musical ). When I watched LS , I fell in love with it immediately. Just the other day I was thinking about how I was due for a rewatch soon and then I saw an Instagram post by Rue Morgue magazine that it was the 35th anniversary, so I thought what better time. On that first viewing, I watched the director's cut of the film, as I thought it might be best to see it as Frank Oz intended. This time, I decided to give the theatrical cut a go. I have to say… I like both versions!  *SPOILERS*   I appreciate the dark humor and love the mass destruction of the director's cut, and the miniatures are top notch; but I also really care about the characters of Seymour and Audrey, so seeing them live happily ever after in the theatrical cut is a joy (even if...

Elle (2016) is one bizarre, complex, provocative, and inexplicable experience. I wouldn’t even know where to begin to attempt describing this film other than it’s undeniably Verhoeven y. That said, it's somehow more reserved than usual for the director, despite the controversial subject matter. I'm still processing this one, but I'm glad I finally got around to seeing it.  You can find my  Paul Verhoeven Feature Films Ranked  list  here .

A simple, pure genre exercise featuring believable performances (most notably J.T. Walsh in the final role released during his lifetime), taut direction, a rich score by Basil Poledouris , and a whopper of a finale, Jonathan Mostow 's road thriller  Breakdown (1997) is about 90 minutes of just pure tit .  Recommended for fans of The Hitcher  (1986) (my review  here ), Duel  (1971), and  Hitch-Hike   (1977) (my review here ).

Guillermo del Toro 's lushly photographed 2021 update of 1947's  Nightmare Alley  doesn't change the story much at all. In that regard, there are no surprises here for anyone who has seen the original film (I only did for the first time earlier this year via The Criterion Collection 's excellent  Blu-ray release ). No, the joy here is in watching a very strong cast work with very strong material (though I'm not sure "joy" is quite the right word, as it's a downer of a tale).  On the cast note—I was surprised at how well Bradley Cooper carried the film, as he's not an actor I particularly follow or care for. Of course—because it's del Toro—there are the trademark flourishes of brief but gruesome violence and there's the sumptuous cinematography, along with wonderful Art Deco production design, and delicious period costumes to savor.  I haven't read William Lindsay Gresham 's 1946 novel yet but I've been meaning too since I saw...

After  Tim Burton  passed on directing  The Addams Family   (1991),  Barry Sonnenfeld  took the assignment as his directorial debut. Previously Sonnenfeld had served as cinematographer on a number of great films (including the first three  Coen   Brothers  features). Ironically,  TAF  had three cinematographers (including, finally, Sonnenfeld himself), due to  Owen Roizman  quitting and  Gale Tattersall  being hospitalized. I've seen some of creator  Charles Addams '  original cartoons  and I've seen episodes of the  The Addams Family   (1964–1966) TV series, but I am no aficionado, by any means. However, as a film based on these characters, standing on its own merits, I find it really enjoyable—full of light-hearted, gruesome fun. The cast is pitch perfect— Anjelica Huston ,  Raul Julia ,  Christopher Lloyd ,  Christina Ricci ,  Judith Malina  and  Care...

*SPOILERS* Phew boy, where to begin with The Children   (1980)… A fairly dull and plodding horror cheapie (distributed by Troma , natch) with poor acting and awful special f/x is somewhat saved (and highly  entertaining) by virtue of the fact that it goes there . That's right—the main characters kill children (because they have to in order to survive!), and I'm sorry, but when it's presented the way that it is here, it's hilarious . There's a few decently atmospheric shots here and there, and Harry Manfredini 's score is both similar to his work on Friday The 13th (released the same year as this film) and  a rip-off of Bernard Herrmann 's famous Psycho (1960) cues (before composer Richard Band did the same to even greater effect five years later with  Re-Animator —my review here ). B ut mostly The Children  is worth watching for the titular brown-nailed-atomic-zombie-bastards who can apparently fry you with their hands (hey, they just want hugs!). Oh, an...

Steven Spielberg 's 2021 update of West Side Story  has all the magic of an old-school musical that I hoped it would—I loved it. I still love the 1961 original (my review here ) just a bit more, though the 2021 version is more culturally appropriate, particularly in the casting department, most obviously in regard to the character of Maria. Speaking of, Rachel Zegler  is excellent—as is pretty much the whole cast ( Ariana DeBose in particular)—but Ansel Elgort  is definitely the weakest link. Recasting Rita Moreno was an inspired choice.  The cinematography, choreography, and production design are all practically flawless. WSS  '21 accomplishes the great feat of being its own thing—a film that honors the original film, without ever feeling like a carbon copy, and tells a familiar story in a new, exciting way. I was moved in all the ways that a musical movie should move us—through laughter, tears, and joy. You can find my  Steven Spielberg Feature Films R...

I’ve never tried too hard (or cared too much) to figure out David Lynch ’s Mulholland Drive (2001). I just love it. The imagery, the mystery, the music (undoubtedly some of  Angelo Badalamenti 's most gorgeous themes), the sound, and the mood all work to perfection.  I’ve always found it best to approach Lynch’s work via this quote from the man himself: “If you appreciate slipping into another world, like a dream, and if you can withhold many intellectual judgements, and just float in the world and let it talk to you, you could have a very interesting experience.” As with much of Lynch’s work, MD has the power to fill me with joy, dread, make me laugh, and move me to tears every time. Twenty years on it remains a melancholic and magical masterpiece with a wonderfully diverse central performance by Naomi Watts . David Lynch Feature Films Ranked Top 20 Directors

Though it doesn’t have the same philosophical quality as his earlier work, John Woo ’s American debut, Hard Target (1993)—a modern riff on 1932's  The Most Dangerous Game —is an over-the-top macho ride and a total action jam. There’s still plenty of Woo’s trademark balletic slow motion violence, ridiculous stunts, insane explosions, and—naturally—shots of birds flapping, plus the added bonus of a duo of delicious baddies in Lance Henriksen and Arnold Vosloo . Jean-Claude Van Damme and his physical abilities are of course big selling points as well, not to mention his sensational permed mullet. You can find my John Woo Feature Films Ranked list here .

The Guest  (2014) successfully mashes  Halloween  (1978) (my review here ) and  The Terminator   (1984)— along with other '80s and '90s influences such as Universal Soldier (1992) and  John Woo  films—to create a fun and subversively funny action/thriller/horror hybrid. This highly stylized low budget cult favorite features charming and charismatic lead performances from Dan Stevens and Maika Monroe , eye-popping cinematography by Robby Baumgartner , a fantastic, pulsing score from  Steve Moore , and an absolutely killer goth/synthwave/industrial  soundtrack . The Guest  isn't quite a slam dunk for me—while I do appreciate the fact that there is a level of mystery to the titular character's origin, other characters and themes (such as PTSD) feel underdeveloped, and at times the lack of resources shows (particularly in the climax). But there is an undeniable charm to this indie—I appreciate its simplicity and efficiency, I lik...

Girls School Screamers (1985) is a hilarious horror film starring a bunch of no-name actors, featuring some truly terrible dialogue and basically zero suspense. This  Troma -distributed quasi-slasher had some gore inserts tacked onto it, which is very obvious considering how tame the film is overall. There is fun to be had here with the right crowd and tempered expectations.