THE DANMAN CAN

It's no surprise that Stephen Traxler only made one theatrically released feature film. While Slithis (aka Spawn Of The Slithis ) (which had there been a sequel to this film should have been its title) has a decidedly fun final third, it's a mostly slow-going super low budget nature run amok/rubber monster movie with poor performances, awkward editing, and far too much exposition in its first half.  The lead (a  Tom Jones stand-in)—a journalism teacher who fancies himself a journalist—ropes his wife, a doctor friend (reminiscent of a young  Stan Lee ), and a boat captain—who plays as sort of an amalgam of Quarrel from Dr. No   (1962), a precursor to Katanga from Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981), and Quint from  Jaws   (1975) ( review ) (which this picture rips off a bit)—into tracking down a dollar store Gill-man /proto- Ninja Turtle  after some dogs and a few people are killed by the titular creature. There's a few hilarious character moments, some risible dialogue, and

Cobra   (1986) is an action fan's delight—delivering muscular thrills, impressive stuntwork, slick cinematography, memorable one-liners, a catchy soundtrack (🎶 Workin' too hard, tryin' to make a living 🎶), and an iconic poster. '80s excess is in abundance (including a finale in a warehouse with sparks, fire, chains, and hooks hanging from the ceiling, natch), the villain is very  intense, sweaty, and over the top , and director  George P. Cosmatos  leans heavy on the horror tropes, giving the film a slasher feel at times.  Cobra  is slim on character development, plot details, and plays it by the numbers, but it's like a night of junk food—always satisfying when you're in the mood. Recommended for fans of the  Dirty Harry ,  Rambo   and  Death Wish   series. George P. Cosmatos Films Ranked

Allan Arkush 's  Get Crazy   (1983) combines the wacky, absurd energy of the Marx Brothers , Mad magazine, and  Looney Tunes  with a cast of musicians—including  Lou Reed , Howard Kaylan (of The Turtles ), John Densmore (of The Doors ), Bobby Sherman , Fabian , and  Lee Ving (of Fear ). Add the legendary Malcom McDowell  (as rock god Reggie Wanker) to the mix, plus appearances by a cadre of Roger Corman regulars (including Mary Woronov , Paul Bartel , Dick Miller , and Clint Howard ), and you have one wild and crazy motion picture. The plot concerns a New Year's Eve concert, a promoter ( Ed Begley Jr. ) attempting to sabotage said concert, and the sex, drugs, and music that ensue. Not every joke lands but it's still a very funny, exuberant, and singular film (which turned 40 earlier this month). The  soundtrack  (including a fun  theme song  by  Sparks ) is aces, and the stage performances, costumes, production design, and editing are all a blast. GC   taps into the sa

José Ramón Larraz 's  Rest In Pieces (1987) is an entertaining and funny haunted house film with an excrutiatingly bad (frequently nude) lead actress, hilarious dialogue, and very little logic. The death cult members in the film are very stock characters but a lot of fun. Dorothy Malone hams it up late-career- Joan Crawford  style, which is a blast, and there's even what appears to be a humorous homage to a particularly famous scene from 1955's  The Night Of The Hunter  ( review ). A wacky but enjoyable mess. Recommended for fans of these (better) films:  Shock   (1977) ( review ),  Rosemary's Baby   (1968),  The Tenant   (1976) ( review ),  The Amityville Horror  (1979) ( review ), and  The Changeling   (1980) ( review ). José Ramón Larraz Films Ranked

8 Million Ways To Die (1986), originally written by Oliver Stone , rewritten several times by other writers, and famously taken away from director  Hal Ashby  after filming completed, is a mess of a movie, but a very watchable mess. It's an odd choice for Ashby to have been involved with, really doesn't feel like one of his films (outside of the large amount of ad-libbing), and it's a shame that it didn't turn out stronger. (Incidentally, my Ashby Double Feature today happened to be his debut,  The Landlord   (1970) ( review ), starring Beau Bridges , and this, his final film, starring Jeff Bridges .) 8MWTD dabbles in violent neo-noir but doesn't hold a candle to pictures like  William Friedkin 's  To Live And Die In L.A.   (1985) ( review ) or  Neil Jordan 's  Mona Lisa  (1986) ( review ). Despite not being terribly great, the film does feature good lead performances, some choice dialogue, and a very '80s head-bobbing synthesized score by James Newton

An assured debut by director  Hal Ashby , The Landlord (1970), written by  Bill Gunn  ( Ganja & Hess  (1973) ( review )), is a poignant (and still relevant) race relations comedy with superb cinematographic style (by   Gordon Willis ), biting dialogue, wonderful performances, and a genuine lived-in quality. Hal Ashby Feature Films Ranked

Enter The Dragon (1973) isn't the greatest martial film ever made because it contains non-stop fights or the best choreography or the most impressive stunts. The movie, which celebrates its 50th anniversary next week, combines  James Bond  intrigue with blaxploitation style, and, even though it opens with a fight scene, it takes its time setting up characters and easing its way toward the iconic showdown.  No, ETD  is the greatest martial arts film ever made because of Bruce Lee  and his influence. He spends the runtime alternately observing, simmering, glaring at his foes, slinking around like a cat, or kicking major ass with his lightning fast moves. Bruce's philosophies, expounded in the picture, and his attitude, fully on display as well, made him as much of an icon as his astounding physical ability. Every kid who has ever watched a Bruce Lee movie has fallen in love with his style, quoted him, imitated him, wished they could be him. The man was a badass but he was also c